second baby – Thinker Mommy

Necessities for Baby Number 2 and Gifts for Second Time Moms

Adorable sibling set by kelseymcmargaret on Etsy
(Love that the big sister shirt isn’t completely pink)

A blogger at Project Nursery posted a list of their Top 5 Baby Gifts for Second-Time Mamas and I totally disagree with her gift ideas! Although they are all very nice products, there’s nothing specifically useful for a second time mom. In fact, 4 of the 5 things she suggested I already have and don’t need any more of: aden + anais swaddles, awesome diaper bag, handmade blankies galore, hooded towels/washcloths – mine aren’t personalized, but definitely don’t need more. The remaining item on her list, a new lovie, is the only thing I agree with. Older siblings are already going through a lot by suddenly having to share mommy and daddy – we shouldn’t expect them to share toys too, at least not immediately.

I’m weird about a lot of things, but I believe most moms preparing for a second child would agree with me here. So, I thought I’d share my working list of the things I need to get to be prepared for my baby #2. Hopefully it’ll be helpful to other second time moms in the planning stages and/or be a good idea list to anyone attending a second-time mom’s baby shower.

Clothes – since my first was a girl and my second is going to be a boy (but read more about that here)
A brand new coming home outfit of his own
Bouncer to replace the one we got rid of (darn it)
Another crib (off Craigslist!) since we’re turning O’s into a daybed for her
New organic baby mattress (not going to reuse a mattress even if they give it to us with the crib, eeew)
A second changing pad and cover (since baby’s crib will be in our room for a while)
A second diaper pail (same reason) – the Ubbi?
Newborn diapers
Shrinkx Hips – did it with #1 and I did fit back into my pre-pregnancy clothes (eventually) – but I know some moms never get back to their original size, so not sure if it was the Shrinx Hips or just my body, but I’m not risking it. No idea where the first one went.
Another mirror to attach to the backseat of the car
Pacifiers – in case he wants to use one, definitely wouldn’t reuse old pacifiers even if we had kept them. I really believe some babies just like to suck more than others so I’ll get one to have on hand just in case and then more if needed.
New baby bottles and nipples – I’m going with glass bottles this time. But even though my first child’s bottles were BPA free plastic, it’s probably not a good idea to reuse any kind of plastic that much especially when it’s getting warmed up and cooled down constantly. I’m going glass this time.
A new Baby K’Tan (since I just found out my old one is horribly stained with spit up) – I think I’ll opt for the Breeze version this time which is mesh and cotton so it’s more breathable and not as hot to wear (although the original all-cotton version wasn’t bad at all)
Baby bathtub for the sink – I’m thinking the Puj tub (we just took our 1st in the bath with us but I’m worried that might cause some jealousy this time and/or overcrowding, haha)
A gift for our firstborn (definitely don’t forget them at baby shower time too!!)
Baby mobile of his own (made it myself)
Infant Carrier Arm Pad from Itzy Ritzy. Awesome invention! Though we didn’t end up needing it though since we decided to go with an all-in-one carseat.
New burp cloths and bibs – yes we could reuse the ones we have, but brand new, unstained ones would make a nice gift and you can never have enough of these.
Extra crib sheets and waterproof pads – since both our kids are using the same size mattress
Belly cream or oil – mamas can and maybe should still use this stuff for a while even postpartum and it won’t hurt to use it any time on any body part so it makes a great shower gift. I especially love Mama Mio Stretch Mark Butter
Eventually we’ll need a jumper (we got rid of our first one for space reasons)
Probably a Glider board for our Baby Jogger City Mini stroller – our 2 year old doesn’t use the stroller much so a double stroller seems like a waste

Another cool sibling set by
KoolKidzClothing

Your ideas?

Confession – I Wanted More Than Just a Healthy Baby

I’m just going to come out and say it. I desperately wanted, with my whole mind, body and soul, for my first child to be a girl. I wasn’t going to love a boy any less, of course, but that didn’t stop me from hoping that I could make my baby be a girl through sheer psychic brain power and force of will (of course I knew that the sperm decides the gender and I had pretty much no choice in the matter, but did that stop me from wishing? nope). In the end I was very blessed to have my wish granted (and I made the sonogram operators check multiple times because I couldn’t believe it, haha).

My baby girl (so long ago!)

I’m sure there are some people who genuinely don’t care whether they have a boy or a girl, but I was never one of them. And getting flak for saying something more than “I don’t care as long as they’re healthy” is crazy. I remember being completely shocked when I read an article about the public getting mad at Vanessa Lachey for saying she was hoping for a boy. Of course Vanessa and I both wanted healthy babies, I just also wanted mine to have a vagina. What’s wrong with that? All babies are going to be one or the other and there are differences between the two, so you can’t help wondering. And I’m sure we both would have loved the opposite gender just as much if that’s what we were given instead.

But of course I had to ask myself why I felt so strongly about it. I don’t think boys or girls are necessarily better; I’m in love with a great man and I know lots of amazing women. I think my feelings came from the fact that I have one sister myself, grew up with my grandmother living with us, and nannied for 2 girls for a few years. I’m just more comfortable around girls, I know what to expect with them, I know how “girls” (stereotypically) play, etc. And, as a fashion lover, I admit I was swayed by the idea of being able to pass down my clothes, shoes and bags to a daughter as well as by the significantly greater clothing freedom given to girls. My experience with young boys was limited to a few short babysitting jobs – so it was mostly just fear of the unknown.

Now that I’m expecting baby number 2, I was really surprised that I did not have strong feelings one way or the other this time. I actually felt a little guilty that I didn’t have a strong preference! (My only real reason for leaning one way or the other was the fact that we could pass down & reuse a lot more clothes if we had another girl – not enough to make a difference in my opinion). And, in the meantime, my sister had had an adorable baby boy and she and I had already spoken some about the differences in diaper changing. So when my hubby and I found out we were definitely going to have a boy this time around, there was only a tiny bit of panicking and a lot of excitement. :) I can’t wait to meet you #2!